Monday, September 26, 2011

Zombies vs. Unicorns

Zombies vs. Unicorns
Edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier

According to the introduction of this book, one day Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier got into an argument about whether zombies or unicorns were better.  (Holly Black was pro-unicorn and Justine Larbalestier was pro-zombie.) This debate assumed such huge proportions that they decided the only way to settle it was an anthology of stories about zombies and unicorns.  Authors such as Cassandra Clare, Meg Cabot, Carrie Ryan, and Scott Westerfeld contributed to the book, and each story was prefaced by highly entertaining commentary from Black and Larbalestier.

I'm not going to review this book because there are a lot of stories and that would be really tedious.  Instead, I've decided to weigh in on the debate.  Feel free to post your own opinions in the comments!


Are zombies or unicorns better?

Kate's answer:

Why is this even a question?  If you were stranded on a desert island, which would you rather have with you, a zombie that wants to eat your brain, or a unicorn, which could probably keep you alive when you are starving, sunburned, and possibly even stir-crazy? (Okay, the zombie could keep you from dying, but not in a way you'd want to be kept from dying, and if the only inhabitants of the island are two zombies, what are you going to eat?)

Unicorns are clearly way, way better than zombies.  Unicorns are a reminder of innocence and childhood, when all you needed to be happy was a large cardboard box and a friend (who could also be imaginary if necessary).  Unicorns are the embodiment of all that is good about people like rainbows and adorable kittens that don't have idiotic comments written on them . Zombies are a representation of the bad parts of humanity like Birthers and reality TV.

Plus zombies are just gross.  Since they're not alive, they don't have normal biological processes like, um, healing, so if they get hurt it just stays that way forever.  They are walking (read: shambling) disease carriers. Unicorns, on the other hand, cure disease, so the obvious implication is that a unicorn could cure whatever disease or evil magic thingy is making the zombies, which would (a) kill the zombie or (b) make the zombie a human again.

What word do you always hear paired with "zombie"? Apocalypse. It's always about preparing for the zombie apocalypse or surviving the zombie apocalypse or what happens after the zombie apocalypse.  You know what you never hear with "apocalypse"? Unicorn.

So, since unicorns clearly win in the all-important categories of desert island, nostalgia, one-on-one battle, and non-apocalypticism, I declare them the victors in this ages-old conflict.  Go Team Unicorn!

Source: Max the Unicorn

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