Saturday, December 24, 2011

The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas
- well, the morning before
And flour and pine needles
Covered the entire floor.

All the shopping was done,
More or less, anyway,
And we all hoped that Santa
Might come by the next day.

The stockings were hung
Though by the stairs, here
Because in Orlando
There's no snow any year.

It was eighty degrees out
The sun was quite bright
And the heat was only bearable
In the middle of the night.

There I was baking cookies
When who should appear
But the Evil Christmas Squirrel!
Come to ruin good cheer!

It scampered and scurried
All around the whole home
It nibbled the tree,
The wreaths, and the gnome.

My mother ran out,
"It has rabies!" she cried.
My brother glanced up 
From a game newly tried.

My father swore loudly,
Diet Coke in his hand,
While I - I prepared
To make one final stand.

Though it was Christmas Eve
Time for all celebration
I knew change was called for 
In this situation.

With a spoon in my left hand,
Oven mitt in my right
I prepared for a battle
With the squirrel this night.

I looked into its eyes
And saw their red fire
To ruin our Christmas,
Its only desire.

The battle we fought
Was too epic for words.
Imagine karate,
And a duel with swords.

The ornaments were broken,
Christmas lights sent up sparks;
As I battled the rodent,
Making witty remarks.

After too much fighting,
My eyes growing bleary,
I slew the bad squirrel
Then dropped my spoon, weary.

Blood dripped from my hand
And I said with a smile,
"Merry Christmas to all!
Except squirrels, 'cause they're vile."

Seriously, I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas with no possibly rabid evil squirrels! Eat good food, get good presents, and have a fantastic time with your families! Thank you all so much for reading, and I love each and every one of you!

No comments:

Post a Comment

I love your comments! I try to respond to them...eventually!

This is now an award-free blog. I love and totally appreciate that you thought of me, but I know myself better than to think I would be organized enough to pass them along, and that doesn't seem fair.

Finally, if you're posting a URL, the code to make it actually link to your site is <.a href="your URL">your text<./a>, without the periods.